Tunku Gharibah, my mother, passed away 4th March 2005 - 23rd Muharram 1426- May Allah Bless her soul, peacefully at home in Seremban at her home in Gedong Lallang. She was 91+ and would haver been 92 on 16th August 2005 having been born in 1913.
All told, she had been a wonderful mother, although admittedly, most of my early childhood was not spent with her, since I was brought up by my grandparents in Sri Menanti. However, that's another story!
I say she was a wonderful mother, because she has never troubled any of us in anything. She never fussed over our lifestyles or even dresses and if at all, she will not eat chicken and any house dishes prepared by others, by this I mean if a dish involves coconut milk in its initial preparation. If such a dish is to be cooked in the house and we want her to enjoy it, it would be best to ask her to do the "santan" part.
My dad passed away in the early 1960 when I was in my 2nd year undergraduateship at the University of Malaya. Hence she was widowed at quite a young age considering her age at her demise. She had been a brave lady indeed. At the time of dad's demise, government servants widows would be left penniless unless some kind of savings had been done by the demise. Hence when dad passed away, mom had not much money with her and worst of all, what money that was left in dad's bank account was not accessable to her until it was placed by the court to dad's estate administrator. In any case, there was not much in Dad's bank account - a paltry sum of just a little over RM 500.00 only and this gave to me when I graduated to enable me to put as downpayment for my first car which was a volkswagon. That was the beginning of her generousity.
We had to quit our rented house in Kuala Trengganu , where dad had his last posting as the President Sessions Courts of Trengganu and Kelantan. We were still under the British then and dad's post was considered as very high indeed those days since most of such posts then were held by the British themselves. Dad was held in high esteem by the British although he was not quite well-liked by some traditional chiefs such the Undang of Rembau in Negri Sembilan and Dato' Bukit Gantang of Perak due to Dad's out spokenness on out-moded Malay Traditions on the "Adat Perpatih, wastages on marriages and a few other religious practices which he felt were detrimental to the Malays progress. However, he was very popular with the rural people and eveywhere he went whenever he had the opportunity to visit the kampungs. The moment he stepped into a mosque to pray, be it zohor or asar and more so maghrib prayers, a huge crowd of people would gather, to hear him speak on morality and the need to progress and shift traditional thinking to seek Independence from the British. Of course news of dad's speeches never escaped the English ears, the very reason why he was posted to remote places such as Kuantan and Kuala Trengganu, when accessibility to these towns by roads those days involved numerous river crossings by the so-called river ferries, which in reality were numerous planks tied together to form a kind of "rakit" which at times got sunk when too many vehicles were loaded on them or when the pulling cables accidentally snapped and the ferries were washed away by the river currents. Whilst dad was busy over his unscheduled visits to the remote areas, mom remained home to take care of all seven of us. My brother and I were seldom at home since we were in the MCKK, and even during school holidays I went back to my grandparents house instead of home.
Anyway, we had to move back to Seremban within a month of dad's demise and mom - indeed all of us had no home to go to since dad never built a house. If at all, it was during those early years that my mom continuously reminded dad to start build a house for the family but the old man was adamant and kept telling her it would be there when he retired from the government service. Dad passed away just six months after he retired from the service. He had lost all his gratuity money when he was cheated by a business person who attracted dad to a business venture which never materialised. Luckily for us, my brother-in-law YM Raja Amir, married to my eldest sister and stationed in Seremban as an Education Officer, was willing to take all of us, to stay with them. It was a two-room house with a store room at the back and situated at the then Channer Road. There we all stayed until I graduated. Mom made herself useful cooking for the family and doing house chores like she used to previously and this went on until her house was completed at dad's land at Gedong Lalang - many thanks to my elder sister Halimah who was then a dental nurse. Through my uncle's help, the late Tunku Jamil, the then Tunku Kechil Muda, she managed to get a housing loan from the Negri Sembilan Malay Cooperative Society with sufficient sum to build mother's house. Of course mother fully reimbursed my sister's earlier expenses through her family's inheritance when my grandad passed away. The house was registered in my name upon settlement of the housing loan because I was the administrator of my dad's estate, but I later changed it to my younger sister Jauza because she was single and lived with mom all through. Hence it was when mom died, we all decided the house should remain with Jauza and be treated as the family house till eternity.
Mom was a great lady. She bears no enmity towards anybody and remains very well-liked by anyone who comes in contact with her. Later on I was told by Jauza, secretly she was a philantrophist in her own way- the very reason upon her demise , all she had was her last undrawn pension. By the way, this pension came into being in the late 70's during Tun Razak's Premiership. Before that mom's pocket money came mostly from my sister Halimah and me and this continued until she passed away. Hence she was generous within her means and readily welcomes anyone to her house although her one grumble was none if at all, except when she was critically ill, any of her brothers and siters ever visited her, the exception being the present Tuanku Ampuan Tunku Najihah who seldom fails to visit and give her pocket money every month. She has in all eight brothers and four sisters since grandad had two wives. Virtually all of them were and are successful in their lives and very wealthy too except for mom who was penniless when dad passed away. But she braved it all to continue looking after all of us in her own way. I learned a great lesson from her experience and with the Grace of Allah I provide houses to all my children so that they have a shelter for their families.
Mudah mudahan Allah mencurahi rahmatnya kepada bonda dan ayahanda ku buat selama lama nya - amin !
10 years ago
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