Listen a hundred times; Ponder a thousand times.

Do you ever try to ponder on the past personalities of your life such as your great grandparents, grandparents, granduncles and grand aunties, or your deceased parents, uncles and aunties and not forgetting of course your very close friends or even casual friends whose traits of personalities remain in your mind ?

It is to such a thought that arouses me this morning that makes me now write this short article which I will call "Ponder" although our web editors might not agree to it and change it to something else that is more eye catching to readers. I will leave that to their discretions.

When I think about my grandparents and I can say that I spent the major part of my childhood with them, I dare say that I cannot recall very much of them. If at all, my memory on them are very sketchy indeed. Take the case of my grandfather Tunku Besar Sri Menanti Tunku Burhanuddin ibni Almarhum Tuanku Yam Tuan Antah. He is the younger brother of Yam Tuan Mohamad. What I can remember of him is that he has a very distinguished mustache. At times I see that it is colored somewhat yellowish from its normal gray looks, and this is as a result of a little kunyit or turmeric that he must have applied on it . I have never seen him shaved it off and hence I cannot see his real face without it. I can vouch however that he is handsome with or without the mustache . He always tell me to have one when I grow up and that I should never shave it. I do not know why he says that and later years when I do have a mustache I never shave it until of late. I do not recall if my grandma makes any remarks of grandpa's mustache though. It seems to me the wives of those days are very obedient to their husbands and reserve their opinions of their husbands to themselves. Occasionally, I have heard some grumblings from my grandma though but it has something to do with grandpa’s temper. Yes , he is a very short tempered person and almost always tend to shout loudly to loud noises in the house - noises caused by us kids running around upstairs in frolics.

My elder brother used to chase me quite a bit upstairs and later on my cousins Safwan, Sufian, Mokhsin and Mokhlat do the same thing. Although our grandparents house is very large by any standard and very spacious inside, the house is built of wood generally except for the ground floor which is cement rendered. Thus the second floor is wood - chengal or hard wood, but all the same, it emits a lot of noise if you happen to run on it or even walk with heavy footings. Hence it is on these instances that my grandpa will shout out for us to stop running. To my grandma, who happens to be in the nearby kitchen or in the vicinity of the living room, each time he shouts, it alarms her . Hence she grumbles to herself, muttering something that sounds to me like, why need he do that and alarm all of us !

Grandpa’s favorite way of punishing us whenever he thinks we are too noisy or being naughty in one way or another is to call on us all or on anyone concerned to come and sit at the sofa in the living room where he daily sits and read. He will simply say, " Please sit down and listen to this story of the Prophets" to which he would start telling us pertinent stories that almost always relate to the incident of our misbehavior. At other times, he would read verses of the Quran and asks us to repeat after him, and on another occasion he asks us to sing any song that we know, to which he will make comments to improve our singing. But the most "Scary" thing that we all do not like to face off with him is to listen to his yarn about his adventures with his close friends - something that seems boring to us because they all do not seem exciting. There is for instance the story of the visit of Her Highness the Sultanah of Johore to England and her invitation to tea with The Queen of England. I believe this must be the Queen mother of the present Queen Elizabeth. When the tea is served and the normal English custom of serving tea biscuits to go with it, the Sultanah as is the Malay custom of having biscuits with tea at home, dips her biscuits in her tea cup and scoops up the biscuits with her tea spoon to eat them. This action of the Sultanah is immediately seen by the English Queen and she instantly imitates the Sultanah’s action by putting biscuits into her tea cup too. Almost simultaneously, all the other English dignitaries do the same ! Well, when it comes to diplomacy, you cannot beat the English !

On reflecting back I now realize that all these stories cast examples as to how we all should conduct ourselves in our lives, because he talks about honesty, integrity and perseverance in time of hardship. Somehow, I always enjoy listening to him and I will be the only one that remains behind after the others slow departure from the scene. My elder brother is always quick to remark to me that "Kau pandai mengampu atok. No wonder-lah he always mention you only!" In actual fact I learn a lot of things from my grandpa. He teaches me good manners, honesty, obedience and initiatives. At one time when I was in my Fifth Form and home with him during the terms holidays, he tested my ability to sketch the plan of the "wedding pelamin" that has been left in one of the rooms. Boy, I am indeed lucky that I happen to learn to sketch three dimensional plan the week before I return from the College. In those days, one of the things that we all have to learn is to do these dimensional plans of tables, chairs, wardrobes etc. I have never been good at drawings but this kind of drawings I really enjoy then. Do not ask me to do these today. I cannot do it anymore !

Grandpa has two wives. Of this I have never been aware of or understand then. It just that every Monday he cycles to the other big house towards the village town and only returns to grandma’s house on Thursday morning. Somehow I never ask him about his weekly disappearances until one day when I am in my Fifth Form when I put the question to my grandma. She simply replies, he goes to his other house up the road and that if I wish to I can ask him personally or follow him all the way there the next time around. Of course I do just that and grandpa does not mind it at all, except that he says I will have to walk all the way while he cycles slowly to allow me to keep pace with him. It is then that I learn that he is visiting a sick lady who happens to be his other wife. Hence I learn that grandpa has altogether fourteen children. Five of them are grandma’s and the other nine from the other wife. Of course I am familiar with all his children - my uncles and aunties. There are two girls from grandma’s side and three girls from the other wife. Somehow I have never been introduced to his second wife because each time I accompany grandpa to the other house he always tells me to go back with the excuse that the other lady is not well enough to see anybody. Thus I have never seen her nor am I aware later on when she passes away.

Grandpa’s children from the second wife all turn out to be successful and prominent in their lifetime. The eldest daughter Tunku Kurshiah marries and becomes the Tuanku Ampuan Negri Sembilan and later as the first Permaisuri Agong, another daughter Tunku Durah also becomes Tuanku Ampuan Negri Sembilan. The eldest son, Tunku Mustapha becomes the Royal Chamberlain of the Yang Di Pertuan Agong, his second son Tunku Muhammad the Federal Government’s Chief Secretary, the third son Tunku Daud the General Manager of the then National Electricity Board, another daughter Tunku Hamdah the National Women Institute Chief, Tunku Adnan as StatesCustom’s Chief of East Coast Malaya and Chairman of the Malay College Old Boys Association (MCOBA), Tunku Mahmud as States Immigration Chief of East Coast Malaya and later on Director of several companies, Tunku Shahabuddin a very successful Derby horse owner as well as Director of several companies.

As regards grandma’s children, they are not as colorful, although a daughter Tunku Najihah does become a P:ermaisuri Agong , a son Tunku Ahmad a Malay Regiment General, another son a Settlement Officer, whilst the remaining daughters Tunku Zahariah and Tunku Gharibah ( my late mother - may Allah Bless her soul ) are just housewives. Grandpa lives till ninety two years old whilst my grandma dies at ninety eight. However, my grandma’s mother, that is my great great grandma is said to have lived for one hundred and eight years! Well, my mother dies at ninety one but my dad dies at fifty two ! Mathematically judging from the families age lines, we should all average to over seventy at least before our demise ! Only Allah knows !

Sufficient it is for the time being that I ponder only on my late grandpa , ( Allah Bless his soul) Yang Amat Mulia Tunku Besar Sri Menanti, Tunku Burhanuddin, who was a great man during his time. He was not only of royal princely birth but also noted for his in depth knowledge of Islam and its teachings. The villagers of Sri Menanti and even visitors from as far away as the Saudis and Brunei used to visit grandpa to consult him on the finer part of Islam. To his credit he has written a book on the wisdom of the Al-Fatihah. When he speaks, every one listens. He is the father of Kings and Queens and yet he lives a very humble life in the small village or if you like to call it, the royal village of Sri Menanti .


To him I owe a lot for my ability to sing well enough to win several singing contest trophies right from my early days in MCKK and later years at The Royal Lake Club Kuala Lumpur (RLC). I had a look at some of the trophies that I won at the RLC and I am myself surprised that I am the Karaoke Champion for seven times since its inception in 1993 and the Inter Club Champion five times! Seems unbelievable and I owe it all to the inspiration from both my grandpa and my grandma, who herself was a very good singer and musician - something I will start pondering for my next article for my readers.

Written by Tunku Farid